Brene Brown describes First Times using the expression Effing First Time and define them as situations:
When we have no relevant experience or expertise, the vulnerability, uncertainty, and fear of these firsts can be overwhelming.
How do I know that I am facing a FTT?
- It feels weird inside, unclear, uncomfortable.
- I have zero experience to refer to.
- If I reflect back after the FTT has happened, I will certainly learn something
What about others around me?
Last week, I was into two different situations where we were facing FTTs. The way it showed up was first through frustration. In both cases, people felt lost, they were both trying to compare the FTT with something they thought we experienced in the past, but without realizing that given the new context (Covid-19 and a Pandemie), what was true two weeks ago, it is not today. I wasn’t aware either that we were all trying to find solutions like if we were in the same context we were, when we were all working at the office, all co-located in the same physical space. All that is now gone, life has changed and it is necessary to take that context change into consideration when dealing with “old problems” emerging in this new context.
Something that helped me recognize we were facing FTTs and acknowledge them, was to listen to Brene Brown’s first episode new podcast Unlocking Us. She illustrates with examples from her own experience, how she experiences FTTs and how she is using them as a way to name a given situation and normalize it by becoming vulnerable, because she believes that by
Showing up and pushing ourselves past the awkward, learner stage is how we get braver.
My invitation is to embrace vulnerability by acknowledging and accepting FTTs
I have still a lot to learn, experience, create and I feel grateful for that, so now that you know a little bit more about myself, I invite you to take a moment to look around, staying curious, being brave and spreading love and reflect about the following questions:
- What FTTs have you experienced recently?
- How have you reacted?
- What would change now that you are aware about it?
- What seems possible?
Stay at home, take a break to relax, keep yourself safe, and remember that:
We are incredibly better together, today more than ever!