Storming stories – Hidden expectations over good intentions

In Agile Teams from Forming to Performing, facilitation, Leadership, Passion, Storming Agile Teams by chuzzeteLeave a Comment

The storming story that you are about to read, occured last week when I got into a meeting that I was previously invited to participate.

Set up for failure

When the meeting started, I was a little bit confuse about its purpose, so I took my marker, standed up and started asking them open ended questions to get a better understanding of what they wanted.

Inmediatly after, I got that the audience was looking to get different outcomes, but given that I was there just to provide some of the content, I let things go.

At some point during the conversation, I saw some frustration and impatience comming from one participant, right after a statement that I shared. Then another participant got irritated too and raised its voice and the conversation got heated.

Now I can tell that something was off, and I found myself trying to justify and support my ideas but it was to late and the meeting went out of control until someone else called off.

Hidden and unshared expectations

Once I reflected back about what happened here is what I found:

  1. The client was expecting to get an specific outcome out of the meeting that wasn’t visible to the audience.
  2. Once frustration showed up, I engaged into it, it got me, I took it as a personal attack and I lose perspective amd then emotional control.
  3. Once I asked the client what caused its frustration during the meeting, we both agreed that we got into the meeting with good intentions but it didn’t come out like it.
  4. We also agreed about the fact, that both parties felt frustrated about feeling blocked to move forward. Then being passionate about the subject and seeing the opportunity to reach a better state for the organization and not being able to seized together got the best of us.

Trans-forming though of the week

  • What would it take you to make your expectations visible to other parties, before engaging into a given conversation?
  • What would be different?
  • How sharing your intentions upfront would impact the quality of your relationships?
  • What would you and people around you would gain if you were able to stop taking things as personal attacks and bring conversations back to shared expectations instead?
  • What would be different if you were vulnerable enough to apologize to your client, retrospect together and share ideas to help you improve your relationship?
  • What would be possible?

I wish you have enjoyed my story but I’m curious to know about yours.

Time to take action

Did you like what I wrote and want to see more?

Here some options that I have for you:

  1. Support my writing by getting a copy of my book Forming Agile Teams
  2. Encourage me to keep writing the second workbook of the Agile teams from forming to performing called “Storming Agile Teams“.
  3. Register to my upcoming workshops: “Facilitating Agile Retrospectives“, “Coaching Agile Teams for the sprint/iteration planning“.
  4. Share this post with your colleagues and friends.
  5. Be good with yourself and smile 😃 to the world 🌎

All the best,


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