What I’ve learned from my ‘saboteurs’
This year has been a learning experience for me; a roller-coaster full of surprises and discoveries about myself. I’ve engaged into a coaching relationship with a really gifted person who has been helping me navigate through my personal and professional world. I have worked hard to get things that now I consider important, like having a purpose in life, what do I bring to this planet, and how do I visualize myself in 20 years. Could you imagine that?
It might sound cliche but I can tell that I’ve discovered different aspects of my personality which have played against the sage self that I have inside. My coach calls them “Saboteurs”, a term used by Mr. Shirzad Chamine on his research about Positive Intelligence. Since I discovered (Self awareness) them, a new inspirational and learning journey has started for me. By identifying the “Saboteurs” and the role that they play when sabotaging my mind, I’ve learned several things:
- I’m a pleaser all the way. I scored 8.5 out of 10 in the Saboteur assessment and it has made me realize how important it is for me to please others.
- What power does it give me? Now that I’m aware that I’m a pleaser, what I’m doing is to invite “The Amazing Pleaser” to partner with me and dance together when facing people, so that he doesn’t take my place in front of them. This way, the pleaser is just a tool used to get connected with people which empowers the more authentic aspects of my personality.
- How do I feel about it? When I’m able to partner with “The Amazing Pleaser”, I feel great because I can be myself without comprising my integrity or who I am.
- What are the possibilities now? Everything is possible when I’m dancing. The world is beautiful and I’m really connected with my authentic self; so then I can spend quality time with others by dancing with “The Amazing Pleaser”. Then I’m part of the equation and others can see me more clearly.
- I judge myself really hard first and then others. I received 9 out of 15 in this aspect of the Saboteur assessment and to be honest it was expected. But what I’ve learned is that I’ve developed a pattern that diminishes my inner sage: When I have the perception that other people are doing something different than what I used to do in similar circumstances, something unknown to me, “The Annoying Judger” appears and makes me feel bad inside. His voice starts to speak up and tells me to take action and react to what’s happening right in front of me; he drives me to the point that I need to say something but in a terrible tone; poorly altered that will try hard to diminish others’ ideas, perspectives, and opinions.
- What power does it give me? “The Annoying Judger” empowers me to learn from others. When he is there, trying to make me feel bad about myself; I know that, right then, in that specific moment something new is showing up right in front of me, and that is an opportunity to learn. Then I can take advantage of it and through curiosity and powerful questioning, there is a chance to discover new possibilities from an unknown situation that I feared before.
- How do I feel about it? It feels great when I’m able to identify that “The Annoying Judger” is trying to take my place, because learning is my way to become inspired and to inspire others.
- What are the possibilities now? Unlimited, everything is possible without judgement; the world is diverse and that is a source of unlimited inspiration.
I’m just starting to make progress with all of this, but I can tell that I’m starting to have those moments when the inner sage takes place, and believe me; it feels like I can reach the stars.
I want to say thanks to all of you who have taught me how to become a better version of myself and have allowed me to get in touch with my authentic self.
- What about you?
- What are your Saboteurs and how they empower your better self?
